Immeasurably More

2:45 Bangor Airport, Maine A journey of a thousand miles begins with packing. I like to make packing lists so that I can check that I have all the things I think I am going to want on a trip. I didn't do that this time. Mistake. But years ago when I was stressed about packing for a trip, an acquaintance observed.... "You're not going to a third world country." And I try to remember that now. There's very little I need that can't be replaced at a Walmart or a National Park gift shop.  Which is why I was so proud of myself when I double checked my bag at the airport and had all the important stuff.... Passport. Wallet. Laptop. Laptop charger. Phone. Phone charger. And then I was early enough there was no line at security.  And as I was putting my shoes back on, I remembered my earbuds.  I have sincerely sworn to be available for work calls throughout my trip. I must have my earbuds!! My generous neighbor and housesitter agreed to find them and bring them to me. 

 Dear Reader, Several years ago, my local library stopped collecting overdue fines.  This was good for me, but a loss of income for them.  From me, specifically.  It's not that I never bring my books back..... it's just that I tend to bring them back after I get notified about the cost of book replacement.  And then consider the library fines a donation to a good cause. Anyway, no more library overdue fines in this town.  And no caps on how many books you can borrow either.  So, I borrowed all the books on the US. National Parks that I could find.  Ok.  Maybe not all.  But enough so that the librarian who scanned my card asked "Are you planning a trip?"  I even borrowed the book with the National Park cross stitch patterns, which is very clever but also has very little value for trip planning. But, Yes, Madame Librarian!  I *am* planning a trip! I have invited myself along on my parents' cross-country trek to see the presidents and the mountains and the buffalos a

Dear Reader, I have received three Christmas cards, so far this year.  There seems to be a theme. For me, 2018 has definitely not been a year characterized by joy.  Disappointment, frustration, anxiety.  There's a reason that people don't put those words on Christmas cards. Years ago when I was living in England, I used to joke about the freedom of having no house, no car, no kids and no debt.  Now I'm a single "mother" of two (dogs) with a car, a tractor, a house, (read: mortgage) and a very tall stack of consumer credit cards, all located in a place that is cold, has ridiculously high taxes and is a hassle to travel to and from.  In summary: through a series of well-meaning life choices, made for good reasons, I find myself with a life I never wanted. So I've made it through Denial, I've given up on Bargaining and now I'm working through Anger and Depression so I can make progress on Acceptance: I'm going to be in Maine for a while.

Dear Reader, LandLady likes to encourage me by saying "I hope you're writing about this." At least, I'm pretty sure it's meant as encouragement.  It might be private hopes that if I write the story well enough, I can sell the movie rights and she can demand a cut. After all, the whole plan to buy a house in Bangor and move Dog in with my friends and their three boys (7 and younger) was hatched under her roof. However, as yet, the whole situation seems very unreal.  It took 3 months from offer to closing.  I signed a lot of papers and took possession of a lot of keys. And then the plumber showed up and there was a lot of banging.  And I extended my lease at LandLady's in hopes that plumbing and heating issues could be resolved before I moved in. And this house is in Maine where it has finally snowed.  And the driveway has been plowed in.  Dog doesn't want to go outside to run or pee and when she is forced to, she holds each foot off the icy ground

There are times when you and Life are walking along, like good friends, and you think you know where you are going.  You think that you and Life have agreed on a direction; that there is a plan; that you understand each other. And then Life decides that despite all the trees you have already visited, you really must see this new one.  This tree is different from all the other trees and if you don't see it, you simply won't be the person you might be if you DO see it. And so Life changes direction. Except you don't notice.  Because you talked about it.  And there was this plan . And then you trip over Life.  And Life LOOKS very indignant because you weren't paying attention and kneed her in the ribs.  And you ARE very indignant because this is a stupid tree that you had no interest in ever seeing and you would chop it down and burn it if you could. Stupid tree.  Stupid Life.  Stupid little bits of gravel stuck in your palms. But eventually, you thin

Dear Reader, Has it really been 3 months since I last wrote to you?  My apologies.  Dog, Pony, LandLady and I have been busy.  We have had house breaks (Pony found an open door) and growling (Pony stepped on Dog and Dog was not  amused).  There have been many stuffed kongs of happiness (peanut butter & bananas, frozen peaches, yogurt) and learning moments ("See Dog, when Pony quietly lets me cut his nails, he gets treats.  Why don't you try it?") and romps at the dog park. And then, as life was starting to get a bit routine, Dog turned to drugs. Actually the drugs were an accident.  She was really after chocolate brownies, and it just so happened that they were pot brownies*. In a scene reminiscent of the Toast Snatching Incident , I found Dog munching her contraband brownies in LandLady's sitting room.  It takes a lot of chocolate to kill a dog of Dog's size, so I, being unaware of the brownie's active ingredient, had no immediate concerns beyond