Asserting Dominance

Dear Reader,

LandLady sent me a video of Pony chewing on a rope chew stick.  It's not especially funny or unusual.  Just a big happy dog gnawing on a chew stick.

I was not grateful to see this video, because I had bought the chew stick for Dog;  I wanted her to have something non-consumable to chew on since the bits of blanket and squeaky toys she had enjoyed chewing seemed to have unfortunate consequences for her digestion.  But Dog shunned the stick, presumably for the very reason that it is not-consumable.  So it was re-gifted to Pony, who is delighted by it.

Dog is, in fact, resisting all of my efforts to keep her busy with non-food based entertainment.  But she is inventing her own games.   Games like "stand quietly just out of line of sight and see how long it takes for MyPerson to come looking for me".  Since I have reasons for not trusting Dog, she usually doesn't have to wait long.  So, fun times for everyone!!

One reason I do not trust Dog is that we are having a turf war over the couch.  I want her to understand that the couch is mine; the sleeping bag and blankets on the floor are hers.  I am the big Alpha dog, who works hard in order to provide dog food and car rides and peanut butter and walks and left over chicken soup (do you notice the food theme?) and she is the lucky beneficiary of these things, ergo, I am entitled to a certain couch privilege which she does not rank.

She is unconvinced.  And today I caught her standing on the couch.

I ordered her to the floor.  

She obeyed.  

I turned my back.  

She jumped back onto the couch and laid down.

I ordered her to the floor.

She did not obey.

I hefted 60 pounds of greyhound off the couch.

I turned my back.

Dog jumped onto the couch and laid down with her back closer to the pillows and curled into a tighter ball.

I ordered her to the floor.  No movement from Dog.  More hefting.

I turned my back...

With each iteration Dog worked her way more and more tightly toward the back corner of the couch in order to make the game more challenging (and fun!!) for me.  LandLady was all but making popcorn and selling tickets.  

After what was probably round 6, I asserted possession of the couch, by collapsing on it, face down in hysterics and despair.  And Dog, sensing victory, jumped up to stand over me for a moment, before bracing herself against the wall and raising a defensive paw.

But as I outweigh her by 60 pounds and have opposable thumbs, I stood up, pried her out of the corner and shoved her back onto the floor.

And there was a temporary lull in the game.

Yours from the couch,

~~ LeAn